Showing posts with label College. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College. Show all posts

17 May 2009

YES.TEacheR.DAY

If you're wondering what's with the corny blog-title - well, brain cells tend to be rather inactive.

I have been extremely busy so sorry for the lack of updates...
I intend to keep this post sweet and simple too :) Okay, I want to keep it short, but who cares..
I'm just doing this to honour and thank THOSE PEOPLE whose DAY was YESTERDAY, May 16th.
Thank you for teaching me
pro bono, out of your own initiatives and sincere desires to improve my final grade.
Thank you for being perspicacious and censorious. You were (are) careful in pointing out the many nuances of the assignments and examination.
You were awe-inspiring and outstanding (not
this definition of outstanding!!). Your thinking and approach was formidable. Your clear-headed reasoning and organized and structured thinking processis something that I am still trying to master and grasp. If anything that I am trying to emulate from you is your entrepreneurial spirit.
Yes, I want to conquer the mountain of business and finance... but where's the feasible business plan?? Don't ask. I have yet to think of anything.
Epilogue: I am talking about Marketing Channels, the subject that was marshaled by an enthusiastic and seasoned lecturer, whom I have paid my tribute to
here. His presence and tutelage is a boost for the course as he provides students with a rare standpoint and perspective as a business and marketing man.
Not to forget is the group of other very eager and talented LECTURErs
. I remember fondly my spar with you, you, you and you. They are all skilled people who gave many helpful feedbacks for my assignment.

Okay, I tried writing a good, proper post but I failed (thanks to another long two weeks), so I've decided that I'm going to hit the publish button once I've said enough.


I am going to hit the button now.

29 November 2008

It's over

The title says it all. The battle between the pen and the question paper is over, for now. I am in the throes of recovering from the physical and mental battering the exam (and the process of waiting for the results) so exigently and successfully contrived.

I stared at the USQ Study Desk with eyes wide opened.
The rest, as they say, is history for the result says it all.


Finally after 3+6+5+2+3=19 years of formal education, I can proudly proclaim that I am educated! And the statement, "KJ Loves Marketing" is no longer so very hard to swallow!!
I'm extremely happy and thankful. Thankful to all my Tutors, course mates, parents, God- the source of all wisdom, and to everyone else who supported and cheered me along the ups and downs throughout Semester 2. Happy because I aimed for 3As but if I do get 2As, 1B, I'd be happy anyways.
So I cleared the hurdle with flying colours! Strange that just weeks before I was in a total state of despondency, I now find myself drowned in a sea of bliss. Months of grinding hardwork and sacrifice seemed immeasurably justified in retrospect.

Needless to say, I'm heading out to fête. Might not be back to the virtual world till Christmas.

Till then, take care.

God bless all you readers. It is time to look forward now. If you are taking any examinations, DO YOUR VERY BEST. Nothing else matters. JUST DO YOUR BEST For GOD will do the rest.

I know I did my very best. That is why I am happy.

Today, I honour ALL who have taught me, including the author of this "Engaging student in learning microeconomics" article. Even to those teachers since kindergarten to primary school and up to Form 6, who dubbed me as a slow learner, I still honour you for I would not have achieved my goals if none of you had prepared the stepping stone for me through the Malaysian Education System.

But interestingly, the weird part is that no matter how much shit is in the pile each semester, you will always seem to (just) be able to make it through.

I can testify to that. Read my previous entries as a proof.

12 November 2008

I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me

I'm supposed to be mugging at this moment but thanks to AirAsia and their brilliant free seats and "no fuel surcharge" promotion, Mum has been pestering me to help her find a "cheap" ticket to West Malaysia. So right after lunch, I went online to help her find a "cheap" ticket that fulfills all her requirements.... and AirAsia's website is taking super LONG to upload. BTW, please note that admin fee + insurance surcharge is RM22.50. Can anyone tell me what AirAsia's admin fee include, besides giving us our boarding pass?
Anyways, two papers down. One more to go. My last paper (MKT2012)'s tomorrow.
Sheer HAPPINESS. Tomorrow I'm going to breech through the last wall to FREEDOM!!! Soon I'm going to have good days too, to counter those tense and stressful moments...
Oh yeah, I can't wait till tomorrow. It's been a torturing three weeks studying
in the wee hours of the morning, reading through those burgeoning stacks of papers and books. Being obsessively occupied with the notes and stress was NOT at all FuN.. But the finishing line is nearly there.. Yay-ness.
My first two papers were pretty okay, I should say. Well, it has to be okay or you have to make it sound okay if you have your lecturers entering the exam hall to have a glance of that blue paper sent all the way from Australia and coming up to you after the exams with the first question coming out from their mouths, "how was it?". and not to mention the extent of calling or sms-ing you one hour of your short-lived freedom because they didn't get to see their outputs after the paper. Yup, I'm indeed blessed with such caring lecturers, at least towards yours truly :)
Exam was okay. Thank God. At least I could answer more than half of the essay questions, though I can't guarantee a really high mark like 9/10 or 8/10. And yeah, I screwed up Question 6 of MKT2004 by getting two questions wrong. Oh well, I'd have to settle for 8/10 for that question and probably a 4/10 for another essay because I did not read up on that part. This is what you get if when you have too many things to study (practically the whole textbook) and not enough time. It's time to spot questions, hence the risk to take.
"Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted, but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:30 - 31)
Thus, I humbly say with confidence that
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)". Product of St Mary's. This phrase has not left my head ever since I heard it in Form 1, C.M.
While my course mates are probably mugging their way through the textbook and memorising every single thing, I find it pointless to actually memorise for the sake of exams. Memorising will not make us any better, except academically and that's it. I don't think it will bring you very far in life, unless you become Tony Buzan the second... So it is worthwhile to memorise all the concepts for the sake of exams? Will it serve any purpose in future? I mean, how many of us have the same brand capacity as Tony Buzan? May be everyone, except me. So yeah, if any "memory powress" are offended by my annoying habit of stereotyping or making extremely hasty assumptions and generalizations about the population to bolster my self-image (as some may say).
Anyway, it's time to bring Bobby to out to answer his call of nature before I start my final round revision for the-Morrow's paper.When is my brain going to reboot?
Good luck to all having their exams. Together, we shall beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.

27 October 2008

On TEMPORARY HIATUS

I will be OFF from posting anything. My finals are coming up SOON. Very soon.

1st paper: 1 week from today. Oh, the joys...

Will be back on the second week of November. The end of the second week of November, I mean.

Thanks.

Back to studying. Neh, make it at 4:15p.m.

Note: Procrastination DID NOT buy over my studying schedule. It's just that assignments bought over my time. Due one after another. By the time the last piece was due (which is today), it's time for revision. and nothing is ever better to kick-start our celebrations of the last assignment for the semester with the examinations. Sarcasm intended.

15 September 2008

Dilemma

I'm in a dilemma.

Should I do my MKT2012 assignment 2 in a group? If I do it in a group, there will a be some sort like a bonus mark for teamwork, provided we can create a very interesting team diary. Filling in the team diary is no problem... just create a story that everyone worked together, few conflicts and ta da, 10 bonus marks in my hand which is equivalent to 3%. Attractive, right??

However, to get that 10 bonus marks, I would have to lie that everyone worked together because there is one person who is bound to do more work. This is what you get if the person you trusted most among the rest somehow developed a lackadaiscal attitude towards assignment this semester...

I'm taking three subjects this sem. Last month, I was rushing to complete three assignments. 2 individual assignments, 1 team-based. My team member is taking two subjects this sem. 1 individual, 1 team. Before the 29th August, i was rushing to complete my individual assignments. Pulled off several all-nighters along the way as I only had 2 weeks per assignment. My team member had 1 full month to do his. I completed my 2 assignments on the 27th. I started doing my part of the team-based assignment the next day. There were 5 parts. The deal we made was to split it up to 2-3. The person doing two parts would have to do the intro, conclusion, executive summary, LOT and TOC. At least one part was to be completed on the 30th. I was supposed to do 3 parts of the body: Part A,C,E. My team mate was supposed to do Part B and D + intro and etc.

Come 30th, I finished Part A and was starting on part C and E. Of course, I pulled off another all-nighter on the 28th but stopped on the 29th because of the wrath of my mum. I arrived to college at 9:30a.m. that day, after seeing the doctor. My team member was supposed to come at 10a.m. At 11:15a.m., he called me and told me that he did not sleep the night before and so he wants to sleep in that morning. I unleashed my fury on him and told him, "Fine, just come to college and pass me your share of Part B so that I can edit it. After that, you can go back to sleep.."

He arrived to college at 11:40a.m.

"Where's your Part B?" I asked him.

"Oh, half way through it. I was working from 9a.m. - 4p.m. yesterday. Then I went home to sleep after that till 7 something before I went jamming with my friends at 8p.m. Reached home around 11p.m. and wanted to start Part B but I had gastric because I didn't eat dinner...," he replied. Excuses, excuses, excuses...

I gave up on him and did his share of Part D because the due date was on the 5th Septmeber. There went my National Day holidays, dedicated to completing my Part C and E including his Part D. Finished it on the 2nd. Thank goodness he finished his Part B on the 2nd. He promised to do the intro and conclusion that night and let me see on the 3rd. However, something told me that he would not keep his promise. I spent 3 hours after class on the 2nd doing the intro and his list of references as he did not do it.

On the 3rd, he told me, "Oh, i'm supposed to do the conclusion and intro, right? Ok, I'll do the conclusion now and do the intro tonight."

"I've done the intro. Can't wait for you," I told him. I was pissed.

"Sorry, I was too tired after class so I went to sleep as soon as I reached home,"

While he did the conclusion, I did the table of contents for him. He ended up doing Part B of the contents, conclusion, executive summary and letter of transmittal only.

So much for doing it in a team......

I'm doing my MKT3007 assignment 2 with him again and I do expect another round of excuses. I had to do the draft all by myself. If I'm going to do MKT2012 with him again, I think I would end up doing the major parts of the assignment again. Thus, I would be better of if I do it by myself.

Looking for another group member is NOT an option. The rest prefers working individually.

Well, I getting use to it. Half way through my MKT2004 assignment 2. Plan to finish the major parts by this Thursday and start on MKT2012 assignment 2 this weekend. If all goes well, both assignments should be done by the first week of October so I can start on MKT3007 assignment 2. Of course, this includes his share. Who knows, he can come up with another excuse that he has to go Christmas shopping....

17 August 2008

Oh-wimp-picks

MR. LEE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU??

How come you got demoralized so soon?

With Lin Dan's aggressive style of playing and Mr Lee's all-round defensive style, I expected this match to be one hell of a match since the gold medal is at stake. RM1,000,000 out there waiting for Mr Lee. I expected smashes that break rackets and unbelievable dives to save the shots...

However these are all expectations. Just like how I expected Josiah Ng to enter the kierin finals.

Perceived performance was below par. Mr. Lee made too many unforced errors. 21-12, 21-8 in 39 minutes :(

Well, maybe Lin Dan was just too good for Mr. Lee. Maybe Mr. Lee was too complacent- that's what my parent's says. Maybe it's just not his day today as most of his shots weren't accurate. But Lin Dan had the home crowd advantage too. Ah, whatever it is, at least he went into the finals so it's quite an achievement.... CONGRATULATIONS, anyways. Good job. At least Mr Lee helped put Malaysia on the medal tally- 1 Silver :)

CRAP, I better get back to work for I have spent far too long minding how Mr Lee played when I could have used this energy on "marketing" my recommendations. Application of Service Gaps model and ServQual model, how??

However, life has been generally dull. It's hard to gather the will to complete your assignments when you've being distracted by grander plans on the horizon such as watching the Olympics- y'know like watching Michael Phelps winning his 8th gold medal before getting myself over!!! The hardest part to telling myself to just settle down and be patient for the finishing line is nearly there.

Recently, I just realised that my behaviour has been a tad hypocritical. I've been advising people to have passion in whatever we are doing when I, myself, am unable to fling open the doors to my own heart and embrace my love for my subjects for all that it is.

And it does not help a single bit as my assignment due dates are in two weeks time (and one more on the 5th of Sept. *phew*). However, as the day moves closer, the pressure is mounting, and I’m beginning to lose the coherent flow of my thoughts...

08 August 2008

Glamarous

Soon, it will be the night when over a hundred and fifty plus students strap on their best mask and strut their stuff to show the world they are beautiful while enjoying themselves in a pandemonium of rapture.....

Apparently, the beloved College (do you sense the sarcasm? *pretends to bat my eyelids and eyelashes in the most innocent manner possible*) will be having its Prom Night on October, during one of my hellish days of assignments...

So, are you going?

This is it. I am stating this here and now....

I am not going to the prom this year. Not even under the threat of a slow, painful death. Not even if there's anyone generous enough to pay for my prom ticket.
And The People say, "It's once in a lifetime! C'mon, it's your last year in college..."
To which I will swiftly reply by promptly and vehemently telling them that I do not have the time. I got to recuperate from the stampede of my Services Marketing assignment 2 and get ready to face the stampede of Marketing Strategy assignment 2. (Though my Assignment 1s are DEAD, I'm still going to find time to watch the Beijing 2008 Opening Ceremony later, even if it is for three hours. Benchmarking, y'know)
Then They will say, "Yeah, go there and enjoy. It's going to be fun. There'll be live band, prom king and queen, games and etc..De-stress yourself there.."
Prom Queen?? *LOL* I refuse to be one of those poor things up on stage to awaiting votes to be crowned the title of Prom Queen. I am too old for that thirty seconds of fame up on the stage with a bunch of deluded and too-enthusiastic-to-not-be-annoying attention-seekers prom queen candidates. But there again, I doubt I'd be eligible to circumvent that occurrence!!!
Those smackeroonies would counter that statement with a million POIs and a budget list as long as Swan River itself with a great big "Come and socialize..."
Since it's going to be hard to give a diplomatic reason why I'm not attending the intended-to-be-glamarous night, I've decided to simply say, "Because I don't want to go."
Unless the Prom would be as spectacular as tonight's Olympic's opening ceremony;
Unless 29,000 fireworks will be released during the event into the Kuching night sky;
Unless the College gets an Oscar-nominated film director to oversee the event, and not the Film Club or one of the college head honchos;
Unless the event is also due to see Chinese pop star Liu Huan, together with British singer Sarah Brightman, sing a specially commissioned theme song, and NOT some "live band";
Unless the price of the ticket is below MYR40.00 and mine is sponsored;
Unless somebody pays for ALL MY PROM-RELATED EXPENSES too;
PERHAPS I will reconsider my decision....
I'm not being fussy. I'm just using tonight's Beijing Olympics opening ceremony as my benchmark. Is that too much to ask for?? I don't think so. I'm merely applying what I have learned.
Customers demand more and are much less tolerant of failures. As customers, we often compare our experiences against highest expectations (Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremony, in this case) and expectations are a moving target. What used to delight customers yesterday may only satisfy them today and mere satisfaction is insufficient for customer satisfaction to achieve customer loyalty since customers will be easily lured away by competitors. Delighting the customer is the key to customer loyalty. So to all those smackeroonies, if you want me to attend the Prom Night and go all out to push your Prom Night ticket which isn't an easy task as I gotta sell a promise, delight me first. See, it's so easy as I have expressed my demands. Thus your job is to fulfill it....
This is my analysis of how much time am I going to waste if I attend the prom:
  • HAIR (wash, blow and etc.)= 2 hours plus
  • NAILS= 2 hours
  • MAKE UP= An hour and a half
  • THE RIGHT OUTFIT= It takes days, weeks even...
  • MISCELLANEOUS= 2 hours
See, attending the Prom is no laughing matter. It is a matter of grave significance and hard work. And I am not so self-sacrificing as to sacrifice my time and money to pull all the big guns out, the high-heels, manicures, pedicures, lip gloss, everything. Therefore, I wouldn't be a good arm candy during the prom.
But I just received a phone call saying that I got something to do with ticket sales. *exudes profanities* ..hahahahahaha.. Damn, if i knew that the College is capable of doing this to students, I should have spent my entire tenure as a student there being as low-profile as possible, revolving my entire life in the company of books and books alone. No ECA, no anything, only studies.
Interestingly, I do not know how much does the ticket cost. I will only know the answer tomorrow when I meet the smackeroonie who suggested I'd make a brilliant promoter. Eff%&^* you, man... But I bet you it's going to be priced at some over-rated price, using image differentiation (venue as the image differentiator) to position itself. But for your information, smackeroonies, that don't impress me much...... After all, I spent my childhood days at that venue. Well, like all other smackeroonies, their selling strategy for social events remain the same, which is good for me as this enables me to get my strategy all plan out. :)
No offense to all parties but I think that this whole brouhaha's not worth it. A waste of time and effort, not the mention a whole lot of tears involve in the painful squeezing during facial.

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S yeah
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

We are flying first class up in the sky
We are flying first class, livin' the life
In the fast lane and i won't change
By the glamarous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

The glamarous, the glamarous, glamorous,
By the glamarous, ooh, the flossy, flossy,
The glamarous, the glamarous, glamorous,
By the glamarous, ooh, the flossy, flossy

*dances to the Glamarous song by Fergie feat. Ludacris*

Have a great time at the Prom, people!
I'm not a Fergie fan. But this does not make me a Fergie-hater either. Meanwhile KJ is dealing with her work load. At her own pace.

Update 09/08/08: The opening ceremony of the Olympics last night was exhilarating. The SCROLL and the lighting of the Olympic Torch at the end was superb.
The Plom Nite better be as good as that and I mean it. Still got plom plomoson lonching summor, got gif de flee copon for i-dono-wat, wor... so gland, so glamour-less....

And SESCO, what happened to our electricity supply just now?? A massive state-wide 3 hour black out until 9pm+ wasn't very FUN.. Anyways, I'm just thankful it wasn't last night and I'm thankful the electricity is back.....

04 August 2008

Weaknesses

I'm laziness personified. It's official.
I am not doing my assignment which I should be doing at the moment. I'm a chronic procrastinator. And I ranked myself among the highest, for it is there I rightfully belonged. The procrastinator's prayer availed me naught. Cruel truth.
My command of the English language (as in Oxford English) has gone down the proverbial drain. I used to be able to pull witty neologisms from my butt crack but now I struggle to find a different way to describe anything. I can no longer string a proper sentence containing coherent and well-mediated thoughts together without losing its mojo under the burden of time constraints and the fear of someone finding out I’m whining like a petulant child instead of being a good little cogwheel playing my part in the national economy.
So my weaknesses has been revealed. What am I going to do about it?
Obvious answer. Continue my assignment, pay attention in class, answer all the discussion board questions, revision and ........*arrgh* I can't continue. My head hurts. In short, just do what I got to do to pass my assignments and exams. The fear of repeating the oh-so-cursed form of memory evaluation@ exams is indeed a much better motivator than fear of failure!!!!
Thus, I shall look forward now, with bright hope and the wind in my hair, to even tougher weeks ahead and even longer hours and even more responsibility that will push this weak slacker psyche to it's very limited limits.
Actually I'm blogging from Level 4 in college now, awaiting the club briefing to start at 10:30am. Just as I was about to click "publish post", Mr Adviser entered and I found out that I had "forgotten" to print out the application form for the Club project. Another proof that I have short memory; a true blue analogy of Dory!! Was I supposed to print it out in the first place??? I do not know and I seriously cannot recall any instructions to print it out though the club's head honchos said there was. All I remember was Mr Adviser saying that he will photocopy it. I do not recall him asking me to print out the form. So it's official that I'm in deep shit. Nevertheless, I just put on my Grammy award act and asked innocently whether I was supposed to print it out in the first place. Of course, I apologised for not listening to instructions with a bit of humour lurking in the depths. Thank God, I got out of the shit. Well, sort off, I guess as there was nothing anyone could do since the briefing was going to start in 15 minutes time. Whatever it is, Mr Adviser wasn't outrightly pleased or amused with my irresponsibility. I don't blame him either. I have failed to fulfill my responsibility. It's my fault. *sorry Sir* I am a klutz. It's official.
Anyway, I went for dinner last night and overheard this phrase from the man sitting at the next table, "An answer that is not understood by the receiving end is not an answer at all."

Hmm, imagine telling the teacher that!!!!
**
Okay, I gotta go now. The meeting has started. Maybe I'll just pretend to faint to spare myself the embarrassment of making a fool out of myself later or any further wrath of the head honchos. Haha.

Update: 5pm- I was attacked by Bobby, my parent's and my sister's new dog. I absolve myself of the responsibility of owning him. How did it happen? Bobby came back from the vet after being neutered this afternoon. Yup, he's going to remain a virgin for the rest of his entire life. He's never going to be able to enjoy the joys of fatherhood and this is the end of Bobby's generation of the crossbreed between a Spitz and our local breed. Apologies to Bobby's ancestors. In my humble opinion, Bobby does not fit the conventional mould of what it takes to be a cute dog. And this isn't your average friendly dog; he barks, and has sharp teeth. Sometimes he gets temperamental, especially towards me. Sometimes his most basic instincts take over and anything goes at that point. I've been "bitten" by him twice actually but the teeth never sank into my skin. Only teeth marks which disappeared after one hour.

I know Bobby was (and still is) in pain so I was stroking him, calming him down. He put his snout on my lap and gave me that sad look. When I went away, he made a whining sound as if he didn't want me to go. Oooh, he's so sweet (only today I mean. He's never that kind towards me). Five minutes later, mum went to see him and came back telling me that Bobby didn't look fine. So I went out to see Bobby. He was in pain. I squat down and patted him again to soothe him when suddenly, WAAM. Bobby pounced on me and scratched me. I panicked and quickly ran off, cleaned my wound and rushed to see Dr Chen for a jab. Ok, it's nothing serious cos he didn't bite me. It's just three cuts. No stitches needed or what. Thank God. So if you see a nice plaster on my right cheek, thank Bobby for that. It doesn't help that I'm going for class tonight and Dr's instructions is to cover the wound for a week. Oh well, maybe Bobby wanted to give me a love bite but he couldn't bite me so he resorted to that to leave a mark on my cheeks so that I will always remember Bobby's love for me... So that's it. I heart you too, Bobby.

Time to get ready for class. See you.

26 July 2008

First class mentality

I have been absent from the blogosphere for about a week or so due to a heavy workload, maxed out lifestyle and sheer laziness.

All hail KJ, for finally posting.

Anyway, I spent the final hours of my Holydays doing a notice for a coming meeting, which by itself was quite a task for me since I had to design a notice that would stand out among the clutter of creatively-designed club notices. God knows, what sort of divine intervention has inspired Mr Adviser to ask me to design the notice and a form. Obviously, he had failed to consider the fact that the words creativity and KJ are antonyms. Well, I shall not pretend to understand the workings and complexities of a genius's brain. The outcome was nothing great, as expected and I could imagine the adviser's jaw slackened upon seeing my masterpiece. You can't expect much from a person who has completely zero talent in art, y'know.

One thing I have noticed this semester is the first class mentality of my course mates. They are not a boisterous bunch. They are not very sporting, either. However, they have very good sportsmanship. After 3 weeks of holy-days, I reunited with three of them in Marketing Strategy. As always, the top news of the hour was our Semester 1 results.

"You know what, I actually passed my M.R. and I got a distinction for C.B." enthused E, while L was overjoyed with her B for both C.B. and M.R. Another coursemate, C, a Business Admin major got the same results as L. My M.R. partner-in-crime managed 2As and 1B, the B was obviously for Leadership.

"You?" they asked me.

I paused briefly, stunned by their happiness, but bounced back, totally unfazed, and told them mine in my normal tone of voice.

Ah, the spirit of sportsmanship.....

My course mates are settling for two subjects again this semester, thus NOT putting ‘the merrier’ in ‘the more’, unlike ME, the brave one who took that bold step that NO student with raging hormones should ever take- taking 3 core subjects per semester with one subject as a self-study. Reason being that they do not want to stress themselves out. E would rather wait until Semester 2, 2009 (next year) to take Marketing Channels as she does not want to do distance learning since the college refused to open a class.
They aren’t worried about the assignments while I’m already nervous and apprehensive about getting through this semester (maybe because they only have to do 4 while I’ve to do 6). Does it mean that I have this sense of wisdom since my composure, at this stage, is excellent??? Oh yeah, I'm dead pleased with my myself, just the right blend of serious yet charming. LOL yes yes, daddy, self-praise is no praise.
In the midst of the rat race that grips us day by day, my course mates can still find some repose.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing. Their ability to have fun and be confident is something to be admired, not to be laughed at. If I had told my parents that I want to take a break from studying, hence delay my graduation, I’d have gotten a cold shoulder in return and I shudder to ponder on the consequences of their wrath. *sigh* Being so relax and care-free is something I have yet to truly grasp.
Looking forward to Olympics! 08.08.08. With three assignments due soon after...so I will have to endure a continuous link of mentally strenuous activities.

If you are still reading my spouting until now, you may think it's some crazy nonsensical spouting or that I'm just digressing since I like to talk round and round in circles and go off tangent -blame that on my inferior girly brain that is prone to 'loso-ism'. But it's not. Positive. You see, the stress escalates each day and I'm trying to suppress it but it manifests itself in my supreme crankiness and tempers towards people who really don't deserve it. So I'm struggling so hard to keep it at bay and try to think what God would do... but oh, my humanity... (and third class mentality).

17 July 2008

Slowly...

I walk, knowing the further I do so, the closer I am to the murky waters. Yet I cannot return – behind, cutlasses are pointed into my back.
I advance, with fear gripping my stomach, thus squeezing it into mush. I resist the urge to puke. My face is scarred with fear. I glance around, and see many faces, forcing me into the cold, murky waters. However, amidst the crowd of weapon-wielding antagonists, I see a few familiar faces i.e. my parents, my swimming coaches- those people i know I can't disappoint somehow...But now, all is lost.
Looking sideways, I see my teammates who has been sentenced to the same fate as me. Some with eagerness in their eyes, others – indescribable, complete, utter, panic. Some wearing their swimming gears, floats and holding kicking boards, with the notion that they will survive the waters. How nice is it, to be like those silver lining optimists. Others, like me, shivering...
I start thinking of the end-results. Will I completely, utterly vanish from the face of the earth?? Will I emerge bloody, but victorious??


A fearsome pirate stands up, and stretches to its full height. A scary one, it is, with the full package of a pirate- patch over its eye and hook for a hand. Only this one is worse. If looks could kill, all of us would have died. She looks at me and barked, “Your jump is up soon, get ready!". Evil crackles follow..
**
In less than 100 hours time, Semester 2 will start, sweeping me up in a discordant wrath of sound and fury, activities and friendships, love and hate.... Soon I will have to study my butts off. Well, university isn't exactly a place of comfort nor glamour, y'know.
I know I'd just overdose apathy, maybe then reality won't come so quickly, eh?
**
I walk further, and I find myself standing on the edge of the plank. Knowing I have no choice, I close my eyes, and plunge in. Into the cold, murky waters filled with starved, hungry sharks.
**
Finally, after what seems for like an eternity of time, sinking to the bottom, I come up for a breath of air. Momentary release from the murky waters of… of… STUDIES, ASSIGNMENTS and EXAMS.
After all of us emerge, we gather around. Some emerge victorious, knowing that they bopped a few sharks, and others… bleeding bloody innards.
And Me?? I gotta survive it all, no matter what; so I shall hope for the best...

Cheers, people.

11 July 2008

News and woes of betide

News and woes of betide. Sem 1, 2008 exam result's are out.

**Cue melodramatic music**
I'm relieved with what I have:- 1HD, 1A and 1B, and I thank God for being with me in so many ways throughout the semester.
Dad wasn't particularly pleased with the Credit I obtained for Leadership as he thinks that it caused my results this semester to slightly deteriorate from my last sem's results.
Hence the downfall.
*Glances down in silent salute as the once great ship sinks*
But I'm grinning ear to ear over my results, considering the fact that I self-studied this subject without the guidance of any local lecturers. Despite how much I detested the banality of reading the dry Leadership textbook (oh yeah, the other texts book too but if given a choice NOW, I would rather read my Market Research and Consumer Behaviour textbook than read the Leadership textbook!!), I managed to pull it through with acceptable assignment marks and using personal wits, savvy and common sense to go through the final exam (and of course, with the blessings from God). Studying for Leadership was like I've hit a glass ceiling, wanting to break out, yet unable to, so at the end I felt only resentment. So I'm overjoyed with the fact that I'm over with Leadership with a B -quite a respectable grade in my opinion.
I'm glad that my efforts to answer the questions on the Study Desk for Consumer Behaviour paid off too. At the very least, I did some charity by helping my other friends with their exam preparation. :)
On a more serious note, I'm feeling slightly detached, as well as relieved. Credits goes to my lecturers for guiding me through the fundamental parts of the course contents. At least, I can look Mr Alan and Ms Sharifah in the eye, with confidence that I did not let them down. Well, none of us disappointed them as we all passed...Kudos, people..
As for Market Research, I detested SPSS to the core of it while in the midst of completing the Assignment 2, but I eventually started liking the subject as well as SPSS, though I'm not passionate about it. But exactly where I'll go with Research remains to be seen. Time will tell, I suppose!!!
Unfortunately, the overwhelming feeling of ecstasy is followed closely by the distressing hollowness of reality that Semester 2 is going to start in exactly 9 days time. It will definitely be an upstream battle against stress and another self-study subject next semester but I hope to get through it without scathed. So I shall gather myself and work through it. Best wishes.

08 July 2008

Why I can never become a teacher

As part of our Business Statistics syllabus at Diploma level, Ms Fiona, the lecturer was teaching us how to draw the Lorenz Curve and how we should describe the curve.

"The Lorenz Curve shows the degree of inequality that exists in the distributions of two variables. It is often used to illustrate the extent that income or wealth is distributed unequally in a situation. Likewise, this question shows the degree of inequality in the distribution of income and the population. After you draw, use the 80-20 rule to explain it....” the lecturer explained.

I gave her a blank look. Obviously, I do not take to learning like a duck to water.

“What’s the 80-20 rule, Miss?” I asked.

“80-20 rule as in the Pareto rule. Does anyone of you know what is the Pareto rule?” she asked the class.

Silence.

I leaned back triumphantly and smiled. Ahh! brethren! I wasn't the only one who did not kow what the 80-20 rule was!!!. “Pareto rule? Is it related to the Pareto Chart that is used for quality control??” I asked the lecturer again.

"What is Pareto Chart?" Chin Chin cuts in.

"Ah, it's something out of Production Management. Don't worry, you will learn it when you take Production Management." I replied.

"We use the Pareto rule to describe the Pareto Chart also. The Pareto rule states that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. In economics, we always say that 20% of the world's population own 80% of all the available wealth and 80% of the population own 20% of all the available wealth,” the lecturer answered.

“True, ah?? Does it apply to countries as well??” I asked.

“Generally, yes. Pareto rule was developed by an Italian economist called Pareto, who observed that 80% of income in Italy went to 20% of the population,”

Without missing a beat, I said, "Yeeh, that is not fair. Eh Miss, does this rule apply to our country, or not??" I waited eagerly for her answer. I loved where the conversation was leading to....

"Nothing is fair in this world. Never has been and never will be...," the lecturer chided, "now can we continue??"

I groan inwardly. That was not what I wanted to hear!! "Oh okay, okay. How do we describe the Lorenz Curve using the 80-20 rule??" I replied.

The lecturer had that familiar twinkle in her eye upon hearing that. She continued with lessons. She sure loves statistics..
"You see ah, for this question, you draw the line from here to here, then you explain it like this: The Lorenz Curve shows that 20% of the total income is earned by 63% of the population while 80% of the income is earned by 27% of the population.........."

"Why must it be 80% or 20%? can't it be a 70-30 or 60-40?" I asked inquisitively.

"It can be anything actually but not 50-50. However, we usually use 80-20 because that is the rule of thumb in business." After her explanation, Ms Fiona gave us a question to test our understanding.

Then she made her rounds to make sure everyone understood what she was teaching. She always does that during tutorial sessions.

After I finished calculating the cumulative numbers and percentage cumulative, I leaned over to Li Sia and said, "Ms Fiona sure knows everything."

"Of course she knows, just like most of our lecturers." she answered while pulling out a piece a graph paper from her file to draw the curve.

Chin Chin, who was sitting in front of me, turned around and said, "Aiyah you. 老师就是老师. 如果老师不知道, then who knows?"

"Yeah, I guess you are right. Likewise, I wouldn't call Mr. Kho the walking Oxford dictionary for nothing, right," I replied, letting out a sigh. "Now I know how come I can never become a teacher."

"Why?" Li Sia asked. Eyebrows raised.

"There's a lot of things I don't know. You see, like Ms Fiona, she knows a whole lot of stuff from finance to accounting, from statistics and math to econs. As for me, I have forgotten what I have learned during Financial Accounting 2!!" I replied.

"You still remember what we learned in Production Management like the Pareto Chart leh.", answered Li Sia, probably in an attempt to make me feel better.

"Probably the Pareto Chart only. I've kinda forgotten the rest anyway." I retorted.

"So what do you want to become in future?" she asked.

A pause. I racked my brain for an answer.

"Remember last time during MTP, Ms Noresa used to tell us, if you can't find a job related to your major or your qualification, you can always go back to teaching."

"Ah hah..", Li Sia mumbled. She was busy sketching her curve. I was only beginning to plot the dots. There was a noisy bunch at the back, joking in Chinese. Chin Chin was busy, hunched over her desk.

"Well, I can't follow her advice so I think I'd go to Europe and become a cow," I said, comprehension dawning.

Chin Chin overheard what I said. "Become a cow?" she asked with her face scrunched up, as if cows were inferior creatures. She gave me an incredulous look.

"Ya, why not?" I replied promptly, "The average European cow gets a subsidy of $2 a day. That's the World Bank measure of poverty; which more than what half of the people in the developing world is living on. Therefore, in some cases, it is actually better to be a cow in Europe than a poor person in a developing country or a farmer in sub-Saharan Africa. Do you know Joseph Stiglitz?"

Li Sia and Chin Chin shook their heads with blank stare at me.

"Well, he's an economist. He won a Nobel prize winner for Economics. He is also the author of several books, all which I never had the opportunity to lay my hands on. One of his works is entitled Making Globalization Work. I never read it but from what I gather from reviews, he criticized the hypocrisy with which developed countries had extremely high subsidies on farming and refusing to remove subsidies for agricultural products and farming. Do you know as a result of the high subsidies given to the farmers in developed countries such as US, the bulk of developing population whose populace depends on agriculture for subsistence, are unable to export their agriculture to developed nations because the subsidies keep prices in developed countries unfairly lower. The subsidies enable high-cost farmers and food companies to sell their products at below the cost of production and unfairly beat off the products of farmers in developing countries that don’t have the same kind of money to subsidize their products. So actually it's quite sad to think that those in the developed world are oblivious to the plight of the poor in the developing world. They have pushed for policies that promote trade liberalization mostly in the service sectors, where they have an advantage, and kept up tariffs to block out agricultural imports from the poor countries, when they know that agriculture is the sole livelihood for much of the developing world inhabitants. The losses to farmers in the Third World due to such selfish policies cost three times more than aid given to those countries by the developed world. It makes more sense, then, to pursue a fairer trade regime. As long as discrimination toward the poor doesn't end, we will continue to see an increase in the vicious circle of poverty which will cause environmental degradation. That is why we see inequality in the distribution of wealth. Remember just now, Ms Fiona was telling us that 20% of the world's population own 80% of all the available wealth? I think that is how it comes about. Probably the only way out of this is for the First World countries to share some of their wealth with the developing world, or at the very least, trade fairly with them," I postulated.


The conversation ended. Li Sia's work was 80% done. Mine was only 20% done!!!

Why the big difference when we started at the same time???

I knew I had to get back to work. I had to catch up with her. Thank God I finished in time when the lecturer reached our desks.

"Finish?" she asked Li Sia and I.

We showed her our neatly sketched Lorenz Curve and the explanation we did using the 80-20 rule. "Good, you understand the concept, right? You two do your work very fast, huh?"

I felt a grin spreading itself over my face.
"That's because we spent 20% of our time talking while the rest spent 80% of their time talking. Therefore, when we are 80% done, they are 20% done!", I answered vainly, hiding the truth that Li Sia finished way ahead of me.
"Miss, I know how to apply the Pareto rule, huh??"

The clock struck 10:30a.m. The bunch of boys sitting behind rushed out of class. A student went towards her with the assignment question with the assignment question paper in hand. It was obvious he was going to ask her questions about the assignment. Knowing how vain I could get at times, she smirked.

***************************************
and to the G-D somebody from the primate category, thank you for what happened yesterday that made me sense your disdain and the disgust and disappointment. I am raging at the whole injustice of your lack of acceptance and unreasonable expectations that that burning anger's just faded down to a vaguely throbbing ache in my chest. (And it doesn't help much when your parents start interrogating you as if you were a criminal when in the first place, you do not know why you were treated like that behind your back....)

Well, the sad truth is staring at me in the face but I wouldn't wallow in my troubles. After all I don't intend to work for the G-D somebody from the primate category when I graduate.
If I can't find a job then, I would just go to Europe and become a cow as in lembu. After all, I'm a wood ox, or in my case, a wood cow. :)

03 July 2008

I met my cousin in the college library

I was in the college library this morning. I was there for my menial mundane library duty, NOT TO STUDY.

The library is never in total silence. You can hear people whispering, which ironically includes the bimbotic librarian who will ask you to shut up but when she and her bimbotic gang are together, they'll be talking and laughing away like nobody's business. Then there will be people walking in and out of the library.

When you are in the midst of absorbing all the stuff you need for your exams, suddenly....
*some Chinese song starts playing at top volume*
Person: (stops the song and presses the phone to the ear): Hello.. (walks out of the library upon seeing the librarian heading towards him or her).

Then,
*Beep Beep*
The student beside you takes out his or her handphone and starts sms-ing. Message sent. He/she puts the phone on the table. A few seconds later:
*Beep Beep*
(and this continues for the next 10 minutes or so, hence burning up their credits- the telco company should give them shares in the company.)

That's a common scene in the library. Unfortunately, some students do not understand the notice pasted read on the wall which reads, "PLEASE MUTE YOUR HANDPHONE".

You try to regain your concentration but in vain attempt.

The fact that the library isn't sound proof makes my house a somewhat better place to study. It's situated on the 1st floor but you can hear the blaring sound of a car's alarm or voices of an Ah-beng wannabe speaking Hokkien, sounding more or less like this:
"Lu eh chai bor, wa ye chia yeh sound system si be ho ar. Kui pak ko, ar. Lu beh siang sin wa kah, huh, wa ho lu kua." (and the ah-beng wannabe turns his sound system on and you can hear it loud and clear from the library especially if you are sitting near the computers. Trust me, it makes you feel like taking the nail gun and nail their lips to the lamp post).

Sometimes, you would have students who would break out in very random exclamations, quotes and sounds for purposes not known even to me, and the whole gang bolts out, laughing hysterically.

Occasionally, somebody will be sneezing, sniffing or whizzing, thanks to the temperature that is ideal for keeping corpses. Yup, the library can get inhumane-ly cold and naturally, my brain freezes accordingly, hence the inability to study...

That is why I prefer studying at home. No doubt my stupid neighbour was renovating his house in the midst of my exam and I was disturbed by the sounds of drilling and hammering, but that was only during the day and being a nocturnal animal, I do not study during the day. I study late at night, thus resulting in my immune system being battered. At the very least, I have all my books and notes at home. There is no way I am going to lug all my books to college. Books=Excess baggage=extra fuel consumption for the car. Besides that, i can study anywhere i like at home. Thus, during pre-exam period, you can see my books and notes lying everywhere in the house (except the toilet). And if you go there now, my MR and CB notes are still lying on the sitting room table and in time to come, it shall be upgraded to become reading materials for guests (yes, if you do come to my house, you can always read my CB notes if the programmes on ASTRO bores you.). My CB textbook has just been given another task to be my mouse pad while my MR and Leadership textbooks are still lying on table in my room, waiting for its owner to put it into the cupboard that is made from the the hardest of ancient timber, handcrafted to perfection by skilled artisans.....Apparently, its owner is too lazy to finish clearing up her stuff.

Today, the library was no difference. There was a whole bunch of diploma students in the library doing their assignments. Sitting behind at the last table was my cousin. He is also doing his degree from the same university but doing a different major. I'm a business major, while he's an accounting major. Both of us are having our semester break but while I'm still enjoying my newly-found freedom, he is already preparing for next semester. *KJ gasps in horror* The next semester starts on the 21st of this month and my cousin is already reading his textbook- chapter 3. Arrgh... I have just placed the order for my textbooks. He's taking his final subject next sem and I'm taking 3 subjects next sem. He has started reading his sole textbook and yours truly has not even started anything..... Anyway, that's my cousin.

- He is a super kuai student and a bookworm. I'm 10 million times more playful as compared to him and his siblings.
- He is a pure Chinese, a trilingual. He can speak our mother tongue very well. On the other hand, I'm a pure banana, a bilingual(???)
- I can't stand dedicating my entire student life to books and academic alone. He can.
- He sells life insurance during his free time while I dedicate my free time to club activities and internet. I earn my pocket money by giving tuition to two primary school students.
- He thinks that joining Extra Co-curricular Activities are a waste of time cos we don't earn any money from it... I joined ECAs in college in hope of getting a scholarship and maybe, like what Mr Adviser said, to give my CV a boost. (Ah, well, I think I shall pay a visit to the office of the honourable DPM to apply for a postgraduate scholarship when I've completed my studies or at the worst, get a letter of recommendation!!! For all I might know, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak would be so gracious as to grant me an audience. Well, if Mohd Saiful could be granted an audience with Najib's officer, Khairil Anas, I'm sure I can too, right??? He got a CGPA of below 2.0 while in Uniten, you know..... )
- He is every teachers' dream student. Quiet, smart, and etc. Me?? Let my lecturers be the judge. What can you expect from somebody who 一 定 complain when asked to do tutorials?? Complain 上, complain下, before getting it done!!!
- In short, he and his siblings make me look like a devil. He is one year older than me, much wiser than me and is forever telling me to spent more time on my studies. *Sigh*, I'm not like you. I can't sit resolute on the chair, studying for hours...

Sometimes, I wonder if we are actually related or am I just the odd one out in the entire family?? Maybe I was lost at birth...

Anyway, HOT NEWS here. Ah, how nice is it to be in Malaysia. There's never a dull moment. Our Malaysian political arena offers you all you want for entertainment, ranging from scandals, allegations, fabrications, and quoting Malik Imtiaz, a whole lot of political intrigue in between.
What do I have to say? Discussion suits a contemplative young generation, one that I am part of. We want more openness about the things that matter to us, and the last thing we want to see is blatant sweeping under the carpet. Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku; we are growing up. Every day brings us closer to the maturity. All I wish for is transparency, accountability, justice, equality. Thus, I sincerely hope you'll grow with us. In two months time, Malaysia, as we sing you your birthday song, please reciprocate by thinking of us as you blow your 51 candles, as much as we think of you. God bless you, Malaysia.

Oh yeah, my cousin isn't interested in social politics....

25 June 2008

HOLY-days

BEWARE: This is a "jealousy-inducing" post for those who are not on holidays. Please proceed at your own risk. Thank you.

Finally!!! After a long semester, I can feel an utter sense of liberty at last. No more encumbrance. No studies to worry for the time being. Indeed how nice it is to be liberated from all bondages!!!

I'm having my God-blessed semester break. It started 6 hours ago, exactly as 10:40am after the invigilator collected my CB exam answer script. With God's blessings, it was okay as I managed to "bull-shit" my way through with examples as I had forgotten some theories!! God is faithful, praise Him. The rest was history. After all, I'm on holy-days now. Don't worry, there's no spelling error or typo error here or in the title of this post. Uni has taught me well to appreciate holidays. That is why I call my much-needed semester breaks as God-blessed holy-days as they are as pure as holy water. Semester breaks=No more assignments, no more lecture/tutorials, no quizzes, no exams.... free from the period of reckoning. Ah, the day I have been waiting for since the beginning of the semester has finally arrived. Pure bliss, pure satisfaction.

Maybe that's one of the highlights of being a student. We have holy-days besides the normal weekends or public holidays. But weekends or public holidays aren't holy-days for us as most of the time, we still have assignments or quizzes to worry about so those holidays aren't holy-days at all. Well, life is all about of giving and taking...Thus, God is fair for rewarding students with holy-days after a long semester of hard work and _________. God is great.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M!!
(yay, I can spell the word FREEDOM!!!)

Anyway, it's time for me to go now. Got to get ready for tuition now (replacement for Monday since I couldn't make it and I don't want my employer to deduct my pay..., times are bad.....)

Till then, adios.

22 June 2008

A sign that you have been studying too much...

You hear this calling that there will be CLASS on a SUNDAY NIGHT during exam period...

It's NOT Me.

It's E and C, 2 course mates of mine. E sms-ed me at 1:50pm, informing me that there will be class tonight from 7-9pm. I was shocked. WHAT??? Class on a Sunday NIGHT?? What on earth has happened?? I called her to reconfirm and she told me that C, another course mate of mine, told her that there will be revision class tonight and C heard it from God-knows-who.
So I sms-ed the lecturer asking him whether it was true that there will class tonight. I think he was laughing his head off upon reading the message. (Yeah, I know it was a total insult to my sanity and intelligence to ask such a stupid question when I could guess the answer myself but I wanted an answer from the most credible source. Who knows, somebody might get overly dedicated so better be safe than sorry...) Still, he had the courtesy to reply the stupid question, though it would be an insult to one's intelligence too by doing so (blame it on those two students of yours, Sir. Me excluded. Yes, I was conducting a source credibility experiment!!!!) No class..... Duh, why would there be class tonight, right? After all, it's a Sunday- a day of rest. Everyone needs a rest including the college and the lecturer (who became a subject of my course mates' hallucination!!). Having classes on Saturday nights, Sundays (and the eves of any festivals too) should be condemn as tenable for eternal damnation- That's the rule of thumb of every student and I'm sure every human knows that.

Several possibilities how E and C got that news earlier on:
- C and E must be missing classes or the lecturer too much that they think about it (or him) 24-7 ever since the last class and they probably had some wild thoughts that there would be class tonight because class=can see lecturer...roflmao. my friends are real hardcore fans of classes/ the lecturer, which is which?!!. PS: Lecturer's attached, people. No longer S&A, if you know what I mean..
- Side effects of studying too much. Studying can cause you to be delusional as proven by my 2 friends.

ARRRRGH, my course mates are scaring the wits out of me.

19 June 2008

Freedom....wait up

Prelude: I never understood why people would just take the short cut to commit suicide. When I read cases of it in the newspapers, I would just ignore the news cos after all, our lives are already miserable enough so there's no point reading another miserable news. However, after reading Cedric's post, here, I somehow felt sad for a student from my former school, St Thomas. I do not know him and neither did he know me but what struck me was how lonely he must have felt. How painful it must have been to have gone through the whole of secondary school without friends - without people he could talk to and people he could trust. And how he could even put on a smile when I don't think I'd be able to if I were in his shoes. To Voon Hian Cherng, May you rest in peace. At least your troubles are over and you can truly smile from high above.

PS: To all my wonderful friends, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING..... Not to worry, I'm NOT contemplating suicide. I'm still sane, normal, and free from any psychopathic tendencies. I might be stress due to exams but it's not to the point of suicide, certainly. I'm just
compelled to restrain my urge to scream to the rooftops and strangle someone- Neh, I'm just joking

because.................


2 papers down, 1 more to go.
..

I can taste and smell the sweetness of freedom on next Wednesday. -it smells like perfume: you know the smell of acriflavine..

How are my papers so far??

Er....??? Leadership was EXTREMELY HARD. My connectivity with the textbook faltered. Nevertheless, both papers should be Pass-able, I guess but I wrote my answers with the world's most amazing, crappiest, unintelligible handwriting EVER. Hopefully the ever-so-merciful examiner would be able to decipher what I was trying to write when my hand was hurting, sore and numb. I couldn't hold my pen properly after 20 minutes through the exam. Hopefully my handwriting would somehow become legible and readable.... Wish I am an ambidextrous. Well, my fault for not learning how to write using my right hand when I was a kid.

Time to start reading up on CB...

FREEDOM, WAIT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm coming.........

Good Luck, KJ and to all other Aussie uni students. Good thing most of the Australian unis are having exams around the same time. At least I'm not the only one...

**KJ prays fervently for a decent mark for her MR Assignment 2**

On a lighter note, I love analyzing data using those non-parametric and parametric tests of Statistical Package for Social Science (SPSS) due to one solid reason: MR Assignment 2!! Come to think about it, it wasn't that bad after all......
*Runs off to do a victory dance*

13 June 2008

God is Great

God is great.

My exam starts on Monday. Another paper on Thursday and the last paper's on the 25th. Yup, I know, the days are drawing nearer and stress is building up. The flux of info into my brain isn't high enough...

I dread exams. I never had the adrenaline rush or the excitement of facing a challenge and using my wits to tackle all the difficult questions. The only adrenaline rush I have is to get done with the final paper so that my HOLIDAYS are here. I tried so hard to find it since Primary 1, but alas, it was to no avail!!!

I'm mentally exhausted. Attending a meeting this morning only to find that there will be a club open day or some sort like it next week was enough to shamble my mind. Seeing how the rest of the clubs were going on with the preparations stressed me out. GAWD, YEC would be the worst club and Mr Alan is sure going to get hell from the management, all thanks to his lucky stars for making him have deal with a sucky, useless, brain-less president. Okay, Mr Alan told me about it earlier on. About a month ago to be exact but I moseyed blithely to it since it was just in the planning stage at that time. Today, the date was confirmed and wham, I was in for a big time. Tech Club was in full force. They had everything all planned out already. Then there was this person who was in high-spirits, thus making me look like a lifeless idiot. I gave the "aiyoh, so ambitious and lively" look to Benson when that high-spirited person was suggesting for someone to organize a trip to the parliament to hear them debate, just like in US, that was what he/she said. I signed at Benson, he signed back. Then I told Julian, "Oh yeah, let's go see Barack Obama debating with John McCain when the time comes." "Yeah, it's more interesting...", he replied. Then the worst thing happened. Pay back time. The high-spirit individual asked me, "Oh you are from the YEC. How do I start a shipping company? I want to be a boss of a shipping company, y'know with at least 30 fleets of cruise/shits." What?? That's even bigger than Star Cruise. I don't think Genting Group owns 30 fleets of cruise. Okay, they own Genting Highlands and a whole lot of other properties. Anyway, I was blur about the answer. I don't even know how to start a company myself. All I know were the stuff thought in Company Law which are all in theory. Anything to do with business, don't ask me. Go ask my genius adviser. I have no hands-on experience. I'm only studying Business from the textbook. *sigh* If only I had paid more attention when The Genius was talking...... But I was all alone to answer the question. How I wish I could tell him/her, "Oh, that's bigger than Star Cruise. Wow. Go read the book entitled My Dream about the late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong or maybe you can ask Tan Sri Lim Kok Thay, the CEO of Genting Group, for some tips. Till then, all the best in your endeavour" But I couldn't. I replied, "every company starts from a small company. Go to the Companies Commission of Malaysia to register a Sdn Bhd first. Get your lawyer to draw out your company's Memorandum and Articles of Association and then, ermmmmm. **trying hard to remember the stuff I learnt during Company Law 3 years back**" Thank God the SC adviser interfered in time to carry on with the agenda. He said, "okay, guys, remember next week, I want it to be like an Open Day. Be creative with your booths. Make it attractive and make sure that there are people mending it. Distribute brochures about your club......." SH_T. I'm having my exams next week. Got a paper on Thursday and I gotta study. How am I going to decorate the booth?? I suck in art. I'm not creative. I'm an ee-dee-yot. Thank God, Mr Alan smsed me in time to save me from further horror thoughts. At a time when I was all alone to fend for myself, worrying how am I going to get through the event when the other clubs have their members to help them out, an sms saying that he has planned everything and I do not have to do anything for he has gotten a committee member to help, lifted a burden off my shoulders. **smirks** *sigh of relief*. God is great. Mr Alan has saved me from one worry so that I'd be able to concentrate on my exams. How nice having such a good adviser.. :) Wait a minute, Thank Goodness the meeting was held at the Common Room and front is glassed up so everyone who's going to the WC can see what you are doing inside..... So Thank God for giving me Goodness!!!!

However what I'm worried now is whether I can lift up to everybody's expectations. I fear that I cannot even pass as there seem to be a whole lot of stuff to cover. Taking three subjects is really stressful but if I don't take it this semester, I'd have to wait for next year since it wouldn't be offered in Semester 2 or 3. I don't want to wait till next year. I WANT TO COMPLETE THIS DEGREE PROGRAMME BY THE END OF THIS YEAR.

And this brings me back to a conversation with Mr Alan just now,
M.A: You will be around next year, right?
Me: What? Here until 2009?? NOoooo WAY, man. If all goes well this semester, then I want next sem to be my final sem here. Final sem as a student. I'm sick of studying for exams...It's hell having to study for exams. can't wait till I graduate...
M.A: *silence* Okay, I think we got to arrange for a handover of position.
Me: Oh yeah, thank you so much. Anyway, the reason why I'm rushing with 3 subjects per sem is because I'd have to wait till the Uni offers the subject again if I'm not going to get it dump and dusted now. I don't wanna wait. It elongates my tenure as a student. Student=studies=assignments=exams. I hate studying. I hate exams (and God knows how many times I repeated that statement in a period of 10 minutes!!!) It's tough but I would rather go through the hell of it once and for all. Then I can let out a sigh of freedom and relief...**flashes an evil grin** (Postgrad studies can wait till I have made my money and I miss the joys of studying.......... )

I do enjoy the perks of getting good results. Well, everybody does. The praises that I was lavished upon, time and time again by lecturers, family members and the college alike were aplenty. But I'm no longer the bright-eyed person as I used to be during my diploma days. I begin to feel more and more wrung out with such a heavy burden. It feels like I'm living a big lie, because I was never an academically inclined person. I got to study my ass off to get a decent pass in my exams. I spent 1 month doing a 1 month assignment unlike the rest who can complete it within a week and still score higher than me. I'm not inclined or talented in anything as a matter of fact. Never was, never am, never will be. Period. If you asked me to choose between going online or reading my textbooks, there was never any doubt which my choice would be. I detest the banality of reading the dry textbooks. I'm no longer in the mood to study my ass off. No doubt my lecturers would be satisfied if I pass (yay, don't need to see KJ in my class anymore), but it's the satisfaction you see on their faces if you get more than a pass. That is why I'm striving for more than a mere pass so that Mum and Dad's dreams wouldn't be dampened. At least their financial investment in my education has not gone to waste. At least they would not feel ashame when their friends brag about how well their kids are doing in uni, or working and self-supporting themselves. At least I can look at my lecturers with confidence, letting them know that their sacrifices has not gone to waste.

All in all, it has been a very straining and strenuous week. I hope I can manage one last push, after all exams will be over on the 25th. But the phrase I learnt in way back in St Mary's remains: Just do your best and God will do the rest.


Thanks be unto God the Father, who has been the source of my strength, wisdom and guidance all this while. (and proven this morning).


Blessed are my eyes for they see and blessed are my ears for they hear and blessed for my brains for they help me remember....

God is indeed great.

PS: Sorry, I'm emo and stressed out at this moment. I'm overwhelmed by the greatness of God and thankful to Mr Alan for his help. Thanks Sir.

I'm off to clear my head.

Time to hit my books.

*GAH*