Uncalled for

I guess my job is the type whereby if you understand the concept, everything will be made so much simpler.

But somehow it is not as fun as it should be...

Things are hard to grasp and I don’t feel like I’ve got a particular connection to it.

I think I’ll find the feeling for it.

I don’t know how long it’s going to take but I hope it isn’t too long... or I'll find myself in the deep abyss. PS: I am not going to exude any profanities.

:()

Serependity

It's 11PM.
One more hour and the clock strikes 12. It's midnight. It marks the arrival of Monday, yet another week.

I found my phone.
I must have missed your message.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

I'm thankful for the weekend.
It's so addictive.
I'd usually be rather sleep deprived after a long work week,
the beauty of home softens.

The weekend break was just right on schedule,
on time for me to take a breather,
reassess my priorities, rest, and think what God would want me to do here.

It's Monday.
The start of the work week.
You continue being swept by that whirlwind of activities
and though you feel at times to cry out that the pace may slow,
but you are trying to enjoy it all the same
because serendipity is why you should never give up.

Quoting Erin McKean, "Serendipity is when you find things you weren’t looking for because finding what you are looking for is so damn difficult.”
Serendipity, is how many people including me found God, after straying away...
It feels so nice to be Home.

Storyboard 2: Preconceived judgement

Over the years, I’ve learned how He has become a victim of His own honesty.

The preconceived judgement I had of Him being pretentious and not-so-perfect was born out of my own cynicism.

If someone doesn’t behave in a certain way you expect Him to, you assume He cheated you and you begin to doubt His abilities.

However, in today’s materialistic society, where almost everyone has a hidden agenda, it is refreshing to experience the truthfulness People choose to adapt.

And I thirst for the Refreshment even more....

And I'm still learning to walk in Him, day by day and step by step.

**

He remembered the first time he realised her existence.

If the tutor had not call out he name that day, he would never have noticed her, despite the fact that they were in the same course ever since his freshmen year.

"Huh? I don't know the answer," she answered the tutor blatantly, with that incredulous look in her eyes. She didn’t blush, nor did she bow her head low. She did not finch a single bit, maintaining the same facial expression as if her face was a painted canvas.

“You better put in more effort to boost your participation marks,” the bespectacled tutor said sternly. Usually, the same misdemeanor warrants an immediate expulsion from that class.

"Another Bimbo. Another Noob who ought to be out of this class," he mumbled to himself.

Like the tutor, he had low tolerance for people impeding his quest for total concentration in lectures or tutorials. He was slightly annoyed by the concession, for there existed a cruel part of him who loved seeing fellow students trudging down the alley of shame, receiving just desserts for their inconsiderate behavior.

**

As usual, he would be in the library going over the previous lecture notes, in between classes.

She would always be in the cafeteria, chatting away with her bunch of gregarious girl friends.

"Those playful boisterous kids in the cafeteria will certainly fail their finals," he said to himself after cracking his brains to understand this morning's hard core lecture.

As he smirked, something caught his eyes, amidst the sea of students in the library rushing for their assignments. She rushed in to the library, looking rather lost for a moment. Then she continued her journey to the tables.. She walked closer and closer to his table.

Suddenly, he saw her standing right under his eyes.

"Can you tutor me for Statistics, please? 2 hours per week. I will pay you $30 per hour," she asked in an urgent, desperate tone, "I can even pay you $240 for the first month fee now as a guarantee."

An additional $240 worth of pocket money every month just for a total of 8 hours tuition per month was tempting. "These days, almost everything will tear your wallet a new hole for money to trickle out like water. Heck, even sitting down can cost you money. After all, Bimbos like her would not expect much too. Just a marginal pass and they will be there celebrating as if they just strike jackpot. Easy job..." he thought to himself.

He agreed instantly.

**

Tutoring commenced the next day. She was not late. He was taken aback. He expected her to be late, so accustomed was he to the Malaysian p-time law.

She was not pretty. She only had single eyelids, and pimples dotted the edges of her forehead and her cheeks. She was not perfect, but yet, there was this indescribable allure emanating from her...

Two months went by. The finals was in two weeks time.

"I'm going to pass, man," she said in glee.

"All thanks to you. I'm never going to forget your kindness.." she continued.

"You are welcome," he answered, but his inner self was saying, "Ah, you better just forget about me. I do not want to be associated with noobs like you.."

**

Two years passed. It was the day of his convocation. He had graduated with his Bachelor degree with First Class Honours. After collecting his scroll, shaking a few hands, saying thank yous, he disappeared into anonimity.

He packed his luggage after the event. He was due to leave his second home that evening. As he trudged his suitcase down the corridor of the dorm, he met a familiar face- His rich bimbotic employer two years back.

‘”Are you coming back again?” she asked.

“Well, not in the next few months. Perhaps I might come back in future”

“Will I ever have you as a tutor again?”

Silence. "I don't think so. I'm leaving.. Got a job," he answered.

"Will I ever see you again?"

“Maybe sometime in the future if fate has it,” he said.

She rummaged through her bag and produced an envelope, which she gave to him.

“You can only open it in the plane.”

“Okay. I have to go.”

She took a step towards him. He had this urge to embrace her. But he feigned indifference and turned to go.

He walked swiftly down the stairs.

“Take care. Thanks for everything. I appreciate it very much.” he heard her cried out.

He didn’t look back.

**

He was 23,000 feet above the ground when he peeled the envelope open. He retrieved the single piece of paper inside the envelope.

He stared at the paper. It was blank. There was no writing on it.

What a noob. Fancy wasting paper and envelope with nothing written on it.

He turned the paper around.

In her neat handwriting was printed the note:

“I'm sorry. I should not have judged you.”, he whispered, trying desperately to hold back his tears.

Storyboard 1

Day in day out, she passed by the same walkway, heard the same din, whiffed the same smell and watched the same scene on her way to the theater. She can only find solace in the soulful songs emitted by the PA system, thanks to the zoo's deejay.

Her job is so mired in routine she was that she felt mechanical, almost robotic, as if she was part of the fittings in the zoo. Typical eight to five, with an official one hour lunch break in between. .. Nothing exciting. Just offering enough money for her to live by.

Can I not wake up the next morning? Please," she asked, with a sad wistful look on her face. Tears of sadness drained down her face.

Silence was the only word he could offer.

The lion had just refused to acknowledge her capability to conform to the required standards.
It conveniently still believes that she have yet to convince it that she worthy of it and she deserves the right to be granted a 'pass'..

She nodded in a daze, gazing into its eyes. It averted them. She stared at the back of its coat billowing in the soft zephyr as it walked swiftly back to its den. It seem to be a flagrant crucifixion of her gloom destiny, for soon it will be the day when the zoo keeper will decide, is she or is she not worthy of being in that zoo.

If she fails, she will be back in the wild, fighting with development for a place to stay, for food to eat, the right to live..

She searched vainly, futilely for the slightest sign of recognition from its impassive face. There were none. Like all of them, it had learned to mask stark knowledge well.

She stared at the computer screen blankly. She felt like screaming but no voice came out. She had this urge to smash the monitor into smithereens but instead she sat there, slumped in her chair.

There was no one around to comfort her, no one to cling to and she ended up crying into her pillow until it was all wet and soggy and her eyes all puffy and red.

**

But Faith - is all you can have here.

There are things you cannot control, cannot affect.

Don't let your fear and rage demolish the single standard left, however nebulous His intentions.

Everyone needs guidance. Like everyone else, she needed all the guidance she could get from God.

"bless me oh Lord. Guide and protect me, Lord, and to provide all the wisdom and necessities in order for me to handle and to take charge of the situation and to provide me your ability that will bless every word, every situation, every person, every thing that I face with pure joy and happiness. With every confidence I have in my body, I lift it up to you and trust upon your favors that it is peace and happiness that every one will have at the end. Amen."

Immediately after that, she felt at peace.

The ever so faithful God had revealed this to her:

What has come has gone.
Now it is time to pick up the pieces and move on.
Now, its time to tie up all the loose ends.
And leave with no regrets...

I was having a chat with one of cyber friends from one of those local Unis in malaysia. She's a chap who takes pride her Uni and she is sure a loyal student who goes all out promoting her Uni. Sad thing she's from Local U because if she was from one of those Private Institutions, she did make a real good PR manageress.

I met her online last night and we began talking about the recent USM fiasco. She was mad by the comments made by some politicians about the whole blunder.

"I do not understand Malaysians." she said.

Thinking it was about the Port blunder, I expressed my gratitude to a certain politician who highlighted the issue or I'd be in a newb about this issue.

"I hate him/her," she continued.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why is he/she harping over the USM issue? It's just a minor issue and he/she is there making all sorts of conclusions as if he/she is one of the victims." she replied.

"Hey, that's his/her job, isn't it. To be the mouth of the rakyat, just as what he/she promised us in his/her election manifesto. Come to think of it, I don't think that mistake should happen in the first place. yeah, it may be some technical glitch but did they think about those students who had to suffer the anguish of disappointments?" I replied.

"USM is definitely regrettable but the politician should refrain from jumping on any opportunity to gain political mileage by exploiting the whole fiasco. There was no racism involved. It is about just the mistake they made in the database. Can't he/she stop making conspiracy theories?" she responded.

"Moreover, our Higher Education Minister has made assurances that those rejected by USM will be processed by UPU for consideration for entry into the other public unis. So what is the fuss now? Shoosh, Can't he/she just shut up and let the UPU do their job," she continued.

"I think his/her concern is whether their chances of getting into one of the other public universities will be jeopardized by their USM rejection. He/she is actually fighting a place in Local U for those USM victims. I think he/she is doing a good deed.. hey, but the blunder should not have happened in the first place , considering the fact that USM has been awarded the apex status," I argued.

"There is no issue now. USM has apologised. The MOHE has given their assurance. So where's is the issue?" she answered.

"Okay, how would you feel if you were one of the USM victims?" I questioned her.

"C'mon, everyone makes mistakes... Nobody's perfect, even computers. Can't they all accept that fact, instead of making a fuss in the papers." she answered.

Easier said than done...

**

Hmm, this chap should be made USM's PR manager.