31st March. Tuesday.

The end of the month

is probably the most looked forward time of the month by all employees

knowing that your pay day is coming soon.

You become more discipline,

oh yes, finally I'm going to get paid for those days I hardworkingly turn up for work.

You wait impatiently at your workplace

as your boss distributes the pay slips to the staff,

unfortunately your one never came to you.

You ask where's yours? You are also an employee so where's yours?

"Oh, you don't have because you are still under probation," says your boss.

You looked puzzled. "Ain't I still an employee? Don't I have to contribute to the EPF and SOCSO like the others?" you wonder.

"Okay, your salaries will be banked into your account on Friday night. So all of you should be getting your salary on Monday night," you hear your boss telling everyone.

Oh well, all those questions can be answered at another time. The most important thing is my salary. I'm getting it SOON, in 5 days time. Yay!

Then your boss announce that everyone will have to become office janitors on Tuesday because the company obviously does not have a janitor. "Nevermind. Sacrifice for the company for the sake of being able to get your salary a day earlier than as stipulated in the contract.

Monday evening comes. 6:00pm. Your colleague logs into her e-banking account. "My salary is not out yet," she exclaims.

You went to the atm after that. balance status. The screen showed the original amount. No changes. Apparently your salary is not in your bank account yet.

Tuesday, a kind-hearted superior calls KL to check on the status of everybody's salary. Oh, it will only be in on Wednesday night as the cheque takes 3 working days to be cleared since it was banked into another branch.

10 minutes later. You receive a shocking news. KL loss your bank account number (that you gave them on your second day of work) so your cheque has not been banked in. The cheque will be banked in tonight. they promise. You will only be able to get yours by the end of this week, which is already 3 days into the new month, provided they keep their promise to bank in your salary tonight.

**

I am irritated with that company which makes their employees feel like they have to beg the honchos to pay them. I am pissed with the company that does not hold their employees in high regard.

It's 11:40PM already. In 6 and a half hours time, the alarm is going to ring, signalling another day. Another weekday. You hope it is Friday, but it’s not. It is only Wednesday. 2 more days till Friday. You feel like shit. You think of a million and one reasons to take MC but you can't because your company has delayed your salary so you cannot afford to spent RM20 for that piece of paper and some medicine. Once in office, you want time to go faster so that you can leave the office and go for lunch. You realised you may have made a mistake in life… You dream of striking 6/49 so that you could probably take a lot of drudgery having a workaholic boss who thinks that people should put work before health and family.

sIGH.

Miserable? Not at all!

3 more days of holidays. Nice. Okay, it isn't holiday. It's 2 days of MC for me to have sufficient rest so that I can recover from my flu and the pain of raw wound in my mouth.

Okay, this week did not start off well. Wait a minute, none of my weeks in March start off well all thanks to my bitchy superior. I immensely hate her. I feel extremely victimized whenever she is being bias and putting pressure on me to deliver, which is often, mainly because it’s been done to me before in a huge blowup of events not too long ago. In fact, I daresay that she is not fit to be a superior at all because ever since the day she took over the reins to supervise me, she has been employing tasteless tactics to piss me off every single work day. It became so bad that I spent many a day agonizing about this and often wondered if I should continue remain with this company until the end of April. I think I will settle on preserving the hardship..

The pathogens from the office decided that I shall be their victim after attacking the boss and another colleague. My flu got worse yesterday, so I ended up with a hoarse voice and I felt like I'm drowning every time I breathe. At 10am, I had a headache and a fever which thankfully dissipated after I down half a Nasatab tablet (no nap cos I was at work). It felt unproductive to be sick: you don't feel like doing anything except sleeping. When I woke up this morning, I thought of calling in sick. Thank God I did not change my mind, and it was a good choice! My bottom left wisdom tooth started aching yesterday and the gums were swollen last night after dinner. Since I made up my mind to call in sick, I decided to pay a visit to the dentist after seeing a GP for my flu and fever, only to find out that that wisdom tooth was impacted. So under the dentist's advice to remove it, I underwent a minor surgery to remove it.

It's hell being having pain in your mouth and flu at the same time. You do not feel like eating but you know you gotta eat before you can take your medication. Anyway, I drank porridge water for dinner and swallowed 1 ibuprofen in between to get rid of the pain that does not seem to disappear completely with paracetemol 650mg. The ibuprofen has not worn off yet so it's not painful now, though I'm having this eeky feeling in my mouth when my tongue touches that part of my gums. Beisdes that, I feel the stitches pull slightly on my gums when I open my mouth to talk.The local anesthesia was a little disconcerting. I like that I could not feel pain when the dentist cut open my gums though I felt bearable pain when he used some apparatus to dig out that impacted wisdom tooth of mine. However I hated the numbness that spread to half my lips. It was like having half my mouth paralysed. Two hous later, the local anesthesia slowly wore off and the pain kicked in. My lower left jaw was throbbing with a dull pain! I swallowed a paracetemol 650mg and Amoxycillin 25mg. I was crying for 15 minutes until the effect set in and I was knocked out soon after.

PS: Amoxycillin is an antibiotic. Please inform your doctor before hand if you are allergic to Penicillin as Amoxycillin belongs to the Penicillin group.

Okay, I know I have made myself sound miserable. Yes, I am miserable though all miseries disappear knowing that I do not have to go to work tomorrow and face that bitch.

Just remind me to call her up before 8:30am tomorrow to say that I'm still sick.

I'm Out. Off to dreamland.

Burnt out

Okay, as expected, I do owe everyone some sort of explanation for my prolonged absence and putting this blog into a self-induced coma.

I'm tired. I apologize for the delay. However, I have decided to delay no more for..

It’s Friday 11PM! TGI Friday! Tomorrow's Saturday!

The moment I clocked out of the office at 6:30pm after the meeting, I felt like I wanted to crumble, but it’s a GOOD feeling - a lot more comforting than having to hold myself upright when I’m tired.

I think I’m burnt out.

I’m burnt out from waking up extremely early from Mondays to Fridays.

I’m burnt out from the hustle and bustle of the corporate world bubble.

I'm burnt out from the endless pressure that drown me by my superior to meet the target (But Praise God for His grace is helping me exceed my superior's expectations for this week).

I'm burnt out from trying to stay away and remain as quiet as ever so as not to land myself in the office politics that exist in that small company.

I'm burnt out from constantly having to open myself up to other people’s piercing judgments in order to take a step forward.

I suppose I’m simply burnt out from work life, which is simply unbelievable, because I’m only in my first month, and should be a lot more resilient than this. But this fatigue hangs off my shoulders. It clutches at my throat. It peels my skin back layer by layer. At the end of the day, I go to work, waiting anxiously for 6p.m. to go back to what seem my sanctuary. I'm burnt out to the extent that I have found a liking to sit in the office's toilet in solitude. Not that the toilet is 5 star rating or what (it is barely one star), but being able to ease myself in the toilet to escape from a few minutes of work is simply satisfying. Those times of quiet, those quality times, are really so much better than the constant frustration that gripes me as soon as I sit down at my work desk.

But it's Friday evening. It's back to the civilized world, a world of liberty and peace, and rest.

Oh YES.... i do not have to wake up early for the next two days!

My bed and my pillow happens to be beckoning to me now.

One advice here: Don't work if you don't have to!! DON'T.