God is great.
My exam starts on Monday. Another paper on Thursday and the last paper's on the 25th. Yup, I know, the days are drawing nearer and stress is building up. The flux of info into my brain isn't high enough...
I dread exams. I never had the adrenaline rush or the excitement of facing a challenge and using my wits to tackle all the difficult questions. The only adrenaline rush I have is to get done with the final paper so that my HOLIDAYS are here. I tried so hard to find it since Primary 1, but alas, it was to no avail!!!
I'm mentally exhausted. Attending a meeting this morning only to find that there will be a club open day or some sort like it next week was enough to shamble my mind. Seeing how the rest of the clubs were going on with the preparations stressed me out. GAWD, YEC would be the worst club and Mr Alan is sure going to get hell from the management, all thanks to his lucky stars for making him have deal with a sucky, useless, brain-less president. Okay, Mr Alan told me about it earlier on. About a month ago to be exact but I moseyed blithely to it since it was just in the planning stage at that time. Today, the date was confirmed and wham, I was in for a big time. Tech Club was in full force. They had everything all planned out already. Then there was this person who was in high-spirits, thus making me look like a lifeless idiot. I gave the "aiyoh, so ambitious and lively" look to Benson when that high-spirited person was suggesting for someone to organize a trip to the parliament to hear them debate, just like in US, that was what he/she said. I signed at Benson, he signed back. Then I told Julian, "Oh yeah, let's go see Barack Obama debating with John McCain when the time comes." "Yeah, it's more interesting...", he replied. Then the worst thing happened. Pay back time. The high-spirit individual asked me, "Oh you are from the YEC. How do I start a shipping company? I want to be a boss of a shipping company, y'know with at least 30 fleets of cruise/shits." What?? That's even bigger than Star Cruise. I don't think Genting Group owns 30 fleets of cruise. Okay, they own Genting Highlands and a whole lot of other properties. Anyway, I was blur about the answer. I don't even know how to start a company myself. All I know were the stuff thought in Company Law which are all in theory. Anything to do with business, don't ask me. Go ask my genius adviser. I have no hands-on experience. I'm only studying Business from the textbook. *sigh* If only I had paid more attention when The Genius was talking...... But I was all alone to answer the question. How I wish I could tell him/her, "Oh, that's bigger than Star Cruise. Wow. Go read the book entitled My Dream about the late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong or maybe you can ask Tan Sri Lim Kok Thay, the CEO of Genting Group, for some tips. Till then, all the best in your endeavour" But I couldn't. I replied, "every company starts from a small company. Go to the Companies Commission of Malaysia to register a Sdn Bhd first. Get your lawyer to draw out your company's Memorandum and Articles of Association and then, ermmmmm. **trying hard to remember the stuff I learnt during Company Law 3 years back**" Thank God the SC adviser interfered in time to carry on with the agenda. He said, "okay, guys, remember next week, I want it to be like an Open Day. Be creative with your booths. Make it attractive and make sure that there are people mending it. Distribute brochures about your club......." SH_T. I'm having my exams next week. Got a paper on Thursday and I gotta study. How am I going to decorate the booth?? I suck in art. I'm not creative. I'm an ee-dee-yot. Thank God, Mr Alan smsed me in time to save me from further horror thoughts. At a time when I was all alone to fend for myself, worrying how am I going to get through the event when the other clubs have their members to help them out, an sms saying that he has planned everything and I do not have to do anything for he has gotten a committee member to help, lifted a burden off my shoulders. **smirks** *sigh of relief*. God is great. Mr Alan has saved me from one worry so that I'd be able to concentrate on my exams. How nice having such a good adviser.. :) Wait a minute, Thank Goodness the meeting was held at the Common Room and front is glassed up so everyone who's going to the WC can see what you are doing inside..... So Thank God for giving me Goodness!!!!
However what I'm worried now is whether I can lift up to everybody's expectations. I fear that I cannot even pass as there seem to be a whole lot of stuff to cover. Taking three subjects is really stressful but if I don't take it this semester, I'd have to wait for next year since it wouldn't be offered in Semester 2 or 3. I don't want to wait till next year. I WANT TO COMPLETE THIS DEGREE PROGRAMME BY THE END OF THIS YEAR.
And this brings me back to a conversation with Mr Alan just now,
M.A: You will be around next year, right?
Me: What? Here until 2009?? NOoooo WAY, man. If all goes well this semester, then I want next sem to be my final sem here. Final sem as a student. I'm sick of studying for exams...It's hell having to study for exams. can't wait till I graduate...
M.A: *silence* Okay, I think we got to arrange for a handover of position.
Me: Oh yeah, thank you so much. Anyway, the reason why I'm rushing with 3 subjects per sem is because I'd have to wait till the Uni offers the subject again if I'm not going to get it dump and dusted now. I don't wanna wait. It elongates my tenure as a student. Student=studies=assignments=exams. I hate studying. I hate exams (and God knows how many times I repeated that statement in a period of 10 minutes!!!) It's tough but I would rather go through the hell of it once and for all. Then I can let out a sigh of freedom and relief...**flashes an evil grin** (Postgrad studies can wait till I have made my money and I miss the joys of studying.......... )
I do enjoy the perks of getting good results. Well, everybody does. The praises that I was lavished upon, time and time again by lecturers, family members and the college alike were aplenty. But I'm no longer the bright-eyed person as I used to be during my diploma days. I begin to feel more and more wrung out with such a heavy burden. It feels like I'm living a big lie, because I was never an academically inclined person. I got to study my ass off to get a decent pass in my exams. I spent 1 month doing a 1 month assignment unlike the rest who can complete it within a week and still score higher than me. I'm not inclined or talented in anything as a matter of fact. Never was, never am, never will be. Period. If you asked me to choose between going online or reading my textbooks, there was never any doubt which my choice would be. I detest the banality of reading the dry textbooks. I'm no longer in the mood to study my ass off. No doubt my lecturers would be satisfied if I pass (yay, don't need to see KJ in my class anymore), but it's the satisfaction you see on their faces if you get more than a pass. That is why I'm striving for more than a mere pass so that Mum and Dad's dreams wouldn't be dampened. At least their financial investment in my education has not gone to waste. At least they would not feel ashame when their friends brag about how well their kids are doing in uni, or working and self-supporting themselves. At least I can look at my lecturers with confidence, letting them know that their sacrifices has not gone to waste.
All in all, it has been a very straining and strenuous week. I hope I can manage one last push, after all exams will be over on the 25th. But the phrase I learnt in way back in St Mary's remains: Just do your best and God will do the rest.
Thanks be unto God the Father, who has been the source of my strength, wisdom and guidance all this while. (and proven this morning).
Blessed are my eyes for they see and blessed are my ears for they hear and blessed for my brains for they help me remember....
God is indeed great.
PS: Sorry, I'm emo and stressed out at this moment. I'm overwhelmed by the greatness of God and thankful to Mr Alan for his help. Thanks Sir.
I'm off to clear my head.
Time to hit my books.
*GAH*
My exam starts on Monday. Another paper on Thursday and the last paper's on the 25th. Yup, I know, the days are drawing nearer and stress is building up. The flux of info into my brain isn't high enough...
I dread exams. I never had the adrenaline rush or the excitement of facing a challenge and using my wits to tackle all the difficult questions. The only adrenaline rush I have is to get done with the final paper so that my HOLIDAYS are here. I tried so hard to find it since Primary 1, but alas, it was to no avail!!!
I'm mentally exhausted. Attending a meeting this morning only to find that there will be a club open day or some sort like it next week was enough to shamble my mind. Seeing how the rest of the clubs were going on with the preparations stressed me out. GAWD, YEC would be the worst club and Mr Alan is sure going to get hell from the management, all thanks to his lucky stars for making him have deal with a sucky, useless, brain-less president. Okay, Mr Alan told me about it earlier on. About a month ago to be exact but I moseyed blithely to it since it was just in the planning stage at that time. Today, the date was confirmed and wham, I was in for a big time. Tech Club was in full force. They had everything all planned out already. Then there was this person who was in high-spirits, thus making me look like a lifeless idiot. I gave the "aiyoh, so ambitious and lively" look to Benson when that high-spirited person was suggesting for someone to organize a trip to the parliament to hear them debate, just like in US, that was what he/she said. I signed at Benson, he signed back. Then I told Julian, "Oh yeah, let's go see Barack Obama debating with John McCain when the time comes." "Yeah, it's more interesting...", he replied. Then the worst thing happened. Pay back time. The high-spirit individual asked me, "Oh you are from the YEC. How do I start a shipping company? I want to be a boss of a shipping company, y'know with at least 30 fleets of cruise/shits." What?? That's even bigger than Star Cruise. I don't think Genting Group owns 30 fleets of cruise. Okay, they own Genting Highlands and a whole lot of other properties. Anyway, I was blur about the answer. I don't even know how to start a company myself. All I know were the stuff thought in Company Law which are all in theory. Anything to do with business, don't ask me. Go ask my genius adviser. I have no hands-on experience. I'm only studying Business from the textbook. *sigh* If only I had paid more attention when The Genius was talking...... But I was all alone to answer the question. How I wish I could tell him/her, "Oh, that's bigger than Star Cruise. Wow. Go read the book entitled My Dream about the late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong or maybe you can ask Tan Sri Lim Kok Thay, the CEO of Genting Group, for some tips. Till then, all the best in your endeavour" But I couldn't. I replied, "every company starts from a small company. Go to the Companies Commission of Malaysia to register a Sdn Bhd first. Get your lawyer to draw out your company's Memorandum and Articles of Association and then, ermmmmm. **trying hard to remember the stuff I learnt during Company Law 3 years back**" Thank God the SC adviser interfered in time to carry on with the agenda. He said, "okay, guys, remember next week, I want it to be like an Open Day. Be creative with your booths. Make it attractive and make sure that there are people mending it. Distribute brochures about your club......." SH_T. I'm having my exams next week. Got a paper on Thursday and I gotta study. How am I going to decorate the booth?? I suck in art. I'm not creative. I'm an ee-dee-yot. Thank God, Mr Alan smsed me in time to save me from further horror thoughts. At a time when I was all alone to fend for myself, worrying how am I going to get through the event when the other clubs have their members to help them out, an sms saying that he has planned everything and I do not have to do anything for he has gotten a committee member to help, lifted a burden off my shoulders. **smirks** *sigh of relief*. God is great. Mr Alan has saved me from one worry so that I'd be able to concentrate on my exams. How nice having such a good adviser.. :) Wait a minute, Thank Goodness the meeting was held at the Common Room and front is glassed up so everyone who's going to the WC can see what you are doing inside..... So Thank God for giving me Goodness!!!!
However what I'm worried now is whether I can lift up to everybody's expectations. I fear that I cannot even pass as there seem to be a whole lot of stuff to cover. Taking three subjects is really stressful but if I don't take it this semester, I'd have to wait for next year since it wouldn't be offered in Semester 2 or 3. I don't want to wait till next year. I WANT TO COMPLETE THIS DEGREE PROGRAMME BY THE END OF THIS YEAR.
And this brings me back to a conversation with Mr Alan just now,
M.A: You will be around next year, right?
Me: What? Here until 2009?? NOoooo WAY, man. If all goes well this semester, then I want next sem to be my final sem here. Final sem as a student. I'm sick of studying for exams...It's hell having to study for exams. can't wait till I graduate...
M.A: *silence* Okay, I think we got to arrange for a handover of position.
Me: Oh yeah, thank you so much. Anyway, the reason why I'm rushing with 3 subjects per sem is because I'd have to wait till the Uni offers the subject again if I'm not going to get it dump and dusted now. I don't wanna wait. It elongates my tenure as a student. Student=studies=assignments=exams. I hate studying. I hate exams (and God knows how many times I repeated that statement in a period of 10 minutes!!!) It's tough but I would rather go through the hell of it once and for all. Then I can let out a sigh of freedom and relief...**flashes an evil grin** (Postgrad studies can wait till I have made my money and I miss the joys of studying.......... )
I do enjoy the perks of getting good results. Well, everybody does. The praises that I was lavished upon, time and time again by lecturers, family members and the college alike were aplenty. But I'm no longer the bright-eyed person as I used to be during my diploma days. I begin to feel more and more wrung out with such a heavy burden. It feels like I'm living a big lie, because I was never an academically inclined person. I got to study my ass off to get a decent pass in my exams. I spent 1 month doing a 1 month assignment unlike the rest who can complete it within a week and still score higher than me. I'm not inclined or talented in anything as a matter of fact. Never was, never am, never will be. Period. If you asked me to choose between going online or reading my textbooks, there was never any doubt which my choice would be. I detest the banality of reading the dry textbooks. I'm no longer in the mood to study my ass off. No doubt my lecturers would be satisfied if I pass (yay, don't need to see KJ in my class anymore), but it's the satisfaction you see on their faces if you get more than a pass. That is why I'm striving for more than a mere pass so that Mum and Dad's dreams wouldn't be dampened. At least their financial investment in my education has not gone to waste. At least they would not feel ashame when their friends brag about how well their kids are doing in uni, or working and self-supporting themselves. At least I can look at my lecturers with confidence, letting them know that their sacrifices has not gone to waste.
All in all, it has been a very straining and strenuous week. I hope I can manage one last push, after all exams will be over on the 25th. But the phrase I learnt in way back in St Mary's remains: Just do your best and God will do the rest.
Thanks be unto God the Father, who has been the source of my strength, wisdom and guidance all this while. (and proven this morning).
Blessed are my eyes for they see and blessed are my ears for they hear and blessed for my brains for they help me remember....
God is indeed great.
PS: Sorry, I'm emo and stressed out at this moment. I'm overwhelmed by the greatness of God and thankful to Mr Alan for his help. Thanks Sir.
I'm off to clear my head.
Time to hit my books.
*GAH*
1 comment:
gambatte! ;))
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