I feel high… I did not have to snort diacetylmorphine nor did I have to eat amphetamines or ecstasy to feel like that (anyway, I’m not a drug addict and I don’t intend to be one). All I need to do is to think about the upcoming quizzes and the arduous assignment questions and I start seeing music and hearing colours. Just like Paula Abdul’s song, all I want to do is to dance like there’s no tomorrow….. Deadlines and quizzes are looming me like how those rampant house break-in cases in Kuching terrifies me… I can feel the pressure mounting up as the days go by… I can feel the world erupting in a haze of brilliant blue and fuschia pink as I struggle to hold my train of thought at a single place. My mind is incoherent at the moment. Every time I think about my upcoming quizzes, assignments, and exams, my brain seems to jump inside the confines of my skull, struggling violently, threatening to squeeze out of every facial orifice in warm lumps.
I feel frustrated thinking about the YEC’s internal issues. There’s no way I can do everything by myself without the cooperation and commitment of the committee members. (They tell me that they are too busy working until they have no time to go online. Ironically, their Friendster page said that they last logged in 24 hours ago. Hmm, got time to go on Friendster, download MP3s and watch YouTubes, but no time to check email, lah.Got time to go for morning tea with but no time to represent the club in Student Council meetings, lah...) The Student Council president tells me to follow her style and just command the committee members to get their ass moving. If they refuse to bulge, ask them to resign. However, that is management, which is quite different from leadership. Management power comes from organizational position while leadership stems from personal power ie expert power and referent power. A manager focuses more on the compliance and implementation of organization’s policies while a leader tries more to inspire people to do their best for the organization. I do not want to be a manager. I want to be a transformational leader-one who have the special ability to bring about innovation and change. After all, all transformational leader are charismatic.-and I have FAILED miserably...
The saving grace is that I still have an ever-so-understanding adviser who knows well enough not to bother me with the club's progress when I'm feeling frustrated with my assignments and etc. He knows that he can't communicate anything about the club with me when I'm in that state because like what I mentioned in here, I don't communicate. I rant, whine, complain, vent...... I know he has worked his ass off (and still is) for the sake of keeping YEC alive. It was through the experience of becoming president that I finally realised that it is not easy to lead a club or an organization. It requires maturity and far-sightedness. Those who have truly experienced being in such a position would know the arduousness faced: being the ultimate decision maker, the ultimate strategist, and the pillar which keeps the commune alive. So the only thing I can say now is THANK YOU, SIR, for all that you have done......
Then there will be a BBQ party in college organized by the Student Council president (under the instructions of the principal- well, that was what she said). Okay, I appreciate her effort in purchasing those raw meat and etc and arranging for the transportation of the BBQ pit. But she forced every club's committee to go and worst of all, sell 20 tickets off or else we would have to buy it up ourselves. WHAT IS THIS??? This is amounting to coercion. Where is the FREEDOM TO CHOOSE?? [The principle of non-coercion is something very close to my heart ever since last year after seeing a group of Sarawak Club members turning into transformational leaders when pursuing this issue. Until today, DAP’s 12th General Election campaign song: Just Change, still rings inside my head. I truly agree with one line, “And never will we be coerced”.] Anyway, I told her off, saying that it was not right to force us to go or to buy up the remaining tickets if we can't sell it off. No doubt, it is difficult to get people to attend our events but don't play by coercion. She then asked me to ask the club's adviser for help to sell those tickets...Hahahaha.....(*KJ bursts into laughter*). I told her, "selling the tickets is one thing. Forcing us to buy it up if we can't finish selling is another thing...and forcing people is not justice. Asking YEC's adviser to help me is no problem but if I do that, I am not doing justice to him since I don't think that is part of his job scope...." See, I preach what I said... ....NOBODY WANTS TO BE COERCED...We want FREEDOM OF CHOICE. Hmmm, paying RM12 for a BBQ party on a Sunday night in college because we are forced to attend.... There wouldn't be any screen for us to watch Champions League that night.... Grilling the meat over a direct flame results in fat dropping on the fire and the production of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbon-containing flames. Polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) will stick onto the surface of food and the more intense the heat, the more PAHs will be present and they are widely believed to play a significant role in human cancers (Source). So is it worth it to pay RM12 because you are forced to go and eat all those food coated with cancer-causing compounds (and increase the risk of contracting breast, prostate, stomach, colorectal and other forms of cancer at the later stage of life....Touch wood!!!)???? Praise God, I knocked some sense into her head, albeit in a rather rude manner... but it paid off because I do not have to buy up the tickets if I can't finish selling and the committee members for the YEC are excused.... hehehe (*eveillish grin*). Unfortunately, being the Student Council treasurer, I have to go regardless of whether I have an important quiz or assignment deadline coming up. Well, the only thing I can say is, "wait till you enter degree level, then you will know the joys of it....Degree studies is sooooooo fun until I feel like crying....". *tears of joys*
Okay, the truth why I am not interested in this BBQ thing is not because I am a geek who wants to spend a Sunday night at home doing my assignments. The reason is because I don't feel justified to be forced to pay RM12 for something like that. Anyway, if I feel like eating those sinfully delicious food, I would rather go to Chica.go7 at Eastmoore, 2 1/2 mile and indulge in their Genuine Broaster Chicken Set A1 that comprises of two pieces of Genuine Broaster chicken, a bun, mash potatoes (I personally commend its novelty in presentation) and a scoop of coleslaw. It costs RM8.50 NETT… (One thing good about Chica.go7 at this point of time is that the prices are not subjected to the 5% Government tax and ?% Service charge since it's still 3-4 months old... At least it does not make me a more bankrupt customer....). Anyway, a Broaster Chicken is supposed to be healthier than the lot of fried chickens including KFC’s because it uses better techniques and such, isn’t it??? If that is still not enough to appease my monstrous palate, I wouldn't mind spending a couple of dollars more to eat the Chicago Hot Dog Cheese. The 6-inches sausage covered with cheese sauce sure beats the hell of eating the normal sausages...
Anyone who has never actually worked will thriftily spend RM12 like it's nothing in the world. Like beggars money. Like a bowl of meaningless RM2.40 kolo mee. But for me, that's one hours worth of hard work of tutoring two primary school kids. (Teaching or tutoring is not my cup of tea, but I believe that is what my father has been trying to inculcate in me since young. Some character in the money business, savings, and how much RM1 is worth although it is JUST RM1. See dad, your devious plan actually worked! :D).
Anyway, the good thing about Ms President is that she followed my earlier suggestion of notextorting getting money from the various student clubs for the capital. We worked our ass out to raise funds for the club, so it is NOT RIGHT for the Student Council to just get their funds from the various clubs. The phrase "ask and you will receive" does not apply here. Well, she agreed with me in the end BUT the next thing I knew, she asked the Tourism Club to subsidize the watermelons that they had to buy and cut... Anyway, I did not bother to say anything since it is not the YEC who is the victim. (Hey, I'm not selfish. I am very self-sacrificing!!!! I risked my position as a Student Council treasurer, went against my superior's instructions, argued with her, just to save the YEC from having to contribute any form of resources, be it time, effort or monetary.)
Anyway, the good thing about Ms President is that she followed my earlier suggestion of not
The clock at the bottom of the screen says it’s 3:45. The Environ people just left after clearing a dead rodent from the ceiling. (Heck, they were supposed to be here at 2 but they arrived at 3:10…… Another Malaysian parable of the P-Time culture among a particular race in Malaysia.) My notebook is getting warmer. I bet if it was not for the notebook cooler, it would have turned into grilled “Acer” steak by now. The black keys beneath my fingers are uncomfortably warm and my fingers are doing high-impact tap dance on them.
I’m glad I have done all my quizzes and assignment that are due this week. Well, I should be. After all, I have sacrificed 3 weekends doing my MR assignment 1 and studying for my CB as well as my Leadership quizzes (yes, I was studying for my CB quiz in Sibu last weekend though I was there to perform my duties as a filial granddaughter to my late paternal grandparents!!!!).
Unfortunately, my other assignments are yearning for my attention now, in which I cannot give because the questions are too arduous. I know I should at least attempt to do my CB assignment 2 now, instead of blogging. But blogging enables me to release my stress/anger. Anyway, don't mortals all have their vices???? Get back to your assignment, KJ. Stop wasting your time. You will not get a HD for Wasting Time because it’s not an examination subject.
But my brains are saturated….and I’m having class tonight at 7…..Got to report for the much-dreaded duty in college tomorrow morning…… (I hate that duty but gotta bear with it until I graduate for the sake of lightening my parent's financial burden....)
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