16 February 2008

OF THE MILLION SHITS IN LIFE

I sometimes ask myself why am I in a club together with a bunch of "ever-so-busy" committee members. I set the meeting date and time 3 weeks before and only got a reply that one would not be able to attend the meeting 3 hours before the meeting is due to start. If the club did not have an ever-so-dedicated @ever-so-enthusiastic adviser, I am positively sure the club would be dead by now.

I know that I am extremely lucky to have such an "ever-so-dedicated" and "ever-so-understanding" adviser. I have learned a lot and received a lot of guidance from him ever since my "diploma days" until today. If it was not for him, I would not know that media is actually the “message carrier”. (And for that, I know that I have him to thank for being able to score a perfect 10 for my Promotion Management discussion activity since I expected a 9 actually). He has been playing a proactive role as an adviser and has been giving me endless support and freedom to lead. However, there are times when I feel stress “working under him” (like today) because his enthusiasm level is way beyond mine. He has high hopes for the club and I know that I am not able to live up to his expectations. I have pride. I do not wish to disappoint him because if I do, I would disappoint his predecessor who have entrusted me to lead the club. As such, in spite of my assignments and exams, I am willing to make some sacrifices for the sake of the club. Unfortunately, I am not able to decide for the whole committee and organize all the planned activities by myself. I am not a super woman. I may look as if I am problem-free but I do have my set of problems. I am not "academically-bright". I studied extremely hard for my diploma exams to achieve such results. Just because I remain silent, that does not mean that I am full-time student and therefore, have all the time in the world to waste since I am currently having my semester break. I am also working like the rest of the committee members. My parents are not exactly supportive of my involvement in club activities. They think that it is a total waste of time and energy. I do not free usage of the car. I have to reason out with them every time I take the car out to attend meetings.

After days of serious studying and much sacrifices made, my course mates and I sat for a dreadful Managing Organizations paper at 8:30am on Thursday and came out of the exam hall 2 hours later with the same opinion: we will all be happy if we actually passed. We are humble students. All we ask for is a pass, not a distinction. After that, we went to the CCE to get our enrollment form for next semester and was greeted with the words, “there will be no classes next sem for degree studies because there are not enough students. All of you will be doing self-study” from the admin lady. WTF??? I have been allocated 3 subjects: Consumer Behaviour, Market Research and Leadership and I am expected to teach myself for these 3 subjects.. Mother F%&*$#^…. If I do not take 3 subjects next sem, I would not be able to graduate by the end of this year. I do not want to go through another round of exam during CNY. I am old already. Most of my cousins who are the same age as me have graduated with their respective degree and have entered the corporate world. And KJ is left behind….. I have developed a repugnant attitude towards studying/ essay writing and now I wonder how is this going to do any help in the rest of my academic life... OH NO KJ, YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT

Yesterday morning, I was awoken by an sms from the "ever-so-dedicated" adviser at 8:35am, “instructing” me about what should I include in the agenda for the meeting (I intended to sleep in this morning since i am currently having my semester break and wanted to catch up on my beauty sleep). Oh shit, meeting is in 12 hours time and I have not prepared the agenda for his approval. That was not the only sms received. The ever-so-dedicated adviser sent me several smses today regarding his feedback. Unfortunately, due my stupidity and illiteracy, I misinterpreted his smses.

The meeting was a complete disaster. After 1 hour and 40 minutes of meeting, no issues were resolved. Every issue was postponed because my ever-so-loyal fellow committee member was so indecisive. She kept on saying, "up to you" when I asked for her comments. Even when I asked her something as mundane as do you think we should have another member's gathering say sometime in March or April, her reply was, "I don't know...". WTF, how am I suppose to make decisions for the whole club? She was too busy with her diploma assignment and lamenting that the college failed her on purpose, thus making her re-sit the paper again. When Mr Adviser arrived, she began complaining that she will be starting work on Monday and Mr Adviser was so proud that another of his “product” is entering the corporate world. Both of them spent 10 minutes exchanging “corporate world” notes and all I did was to yawn. In fact, I was yawning throughout the meeting. I was rolling my eyes and day dreaming when Mr Adviser was telling me about the stupid college’s programme for the whole year. I know that I was being rude but I was pissed off. My ever-so-loyal committee member kept on saying that she will be working full-time and may not have time to co-organize club activities. If you are so busy, just quit then. I guess you are not that loyal/diehard anymore.

I know that it is not right to stereotype people or "dialects" but being a stubborn ox, I “enjoy stereotyping” people and it is a mindset that I still intend to keep.

Meanwhile, I will wait until my exam results are released before deciding on whether I should go ahead taking 3 subjects or not. As long as I pass both papers, I will take 3 subjects but I will have to be more discipline and hardworking and most importantly, be MORE willing to make EXTRA sacrifices. But there again, it is always easier said than done…..

To all my degree mates, just enjoy our lives after exam first…. We are all in the same boat…..

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